Wednesday, 31 December 2014

The Tally of 2014

I've noticed quite a few '2014 In Review' posts popping up over the past few days, but this one has something special. This one is about "Project: Micawber"...

Old Father Time shows no mercy.

"Annual leadpile twenty orcs, annual painting nineteen orcs nineteen goblins and a snotling, result: stagnation.
Annual leadpile twenty orcs, annual painting twenty orcs nought and a snotling, result: progress."

(I may be misquoting Mr Micawber here ... our enforced Sixth Form reading of David Copperfield was a long time ago.)

Sunday, 28 December 2014

Stocking Fillers

Now really, this title should go with the unit I've got lined up for next week. But it won't be Christmas (or this year any more) by then. Harvest ye thine crap puns while thou mayest, says I.

Yes, your armpits smell. No, that's not how you do a Vulcan Salute. 

Saturday, 27 December 2014

Just For The Craic

I once heard a tale that Post-It Notes were an accidental invention, created by a scientist who was looking for a super-strong adhesive and instead came up with a removable one (presumably on little squares of yellow paper).

I like to think the same was true of the new Technical Paint, the 'cracked surface' Agrellan Earth.

"Damn it Jenkins! What are we supposed to do with paint that cracks when it dries?"

I also understand that there was a problem with the initial batch of paints, which actually did not to crack. Resulting in a lot of frustrated customers who had to watch paint dry in the normal, smooth way, and not appreciating the irony one bit.

Duly assured that I was buying the right kind of defective paint, I helped myself to a pot. And when the Night Goblins appeared on my assembly line, I took the opportunity to try it out.

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Merry Squigmas

It’s been a slow month for painting. (Slow for me, that is. Kraken seems determined to repopulate Naggaroth single-handed. Special rule: Always Paints First).

I have not been completely idle with progress. Although anyone expecting more defenders of Athel Loren will discover I got a bit distracted.

Saturday, 20 December 2014

The Axeman Cometh

Last painted Delves before Christmas. They nearly didn't make the cut.

Painted Dark Elves
Defer! Defer!
To the Lord High Elficutioner!

Friday, 19 December 2014

A Close Shave: High Elves vs Dwarves

As alluded to in a previous post, this week I was visiting a long-dormant Warhammer player (self-titled 'General Palafox') in the hopes of reintroducing him to the hobby.

I'll show him da ropes,
And destroy his hopes...

High Elves were his army of choice, and in the interests of a fluffy, tutorial game, I dusted off my Dwarves.

Since I'd be demonstrating the game, I'd need to keep both army books and the ruleset in the foremost of my mind. Now I haven't played High Elves ever, and I haven't fielded Dwarves for more than a decade, but I did make suitable preparations for the challenge.

I grew a beard.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Belly Good Show: Ogre Kingdoms vs Legions of Chaos

We've posted a lot of battle reports recently, but this has something new: both protagonists in the same room. Not to mention the same country.

A mid-week sojourn to Kasfunatu Towers, and so we rounded up a few of his multitudinous armies to put together a 2400pt End Times battle.

A Warhammer Fantasy Battle Report between Ogre Kingdoms and Legions of Chaos.


Ogre Kingdoms

What my army lacked in imagination, it also lacked in originality: a big mass of Ironguts, stuffed with characters. The magical equipment was mostly aimed at keeping them alive, relying on their own stats and great weapons to do the damage. I also took the Rampager's Standard, because I figured getting off the charge might be important to these guys.

On top of that: a couple of units of Leadbelchers (who always seem very handy), a small unit of Mournfang, (because I have Monstrous Cav envy), a lovely Ironblaster; and a couple of Sabretusks, continuing my ongoing quest to understand how to chaff and redirect properly.

A Warhammer Fantasy Battle Report between Ogre Kingdoms and Legions of Chaos.
One very big basket, and a whole lot of eggs.

  • Tyrant: Great Weapon, Heavy Armour. Trickster's Helm. Talisman of Protection.
  • Slaughtermaster: Lv4 Heavens, Dispel Scroll. Talisman of Preservation
    • Iceshard Blizzard, Harmonic Convergence, Curse of the Midnight Wind, Chain Lightning
  • Battle Standard Bearer: Heavy Armour, Ironfist. Rampager's Standard
  • Butcher: Lv 1 Great Maw, Ironfist. Hellheart.
    • Trollguts
  • 12 x Ironguts: Great Weapons. Heavy Armour. Full Command. Lookout Gnoblar. Dragonhide Banner.
  • 4 x Leadbelchers: Light Armour. Leadbelcher gun. Musician.
  • 4 x Leadbelchers: Light Armour. Leadbelcher gun. Musician.
  • 3 x Mournfang Cavalry: Heavy Armour. Ironfist. Champion, Musician.
  • 1 x Sabretusk
  • 1 x Sabretusk
  • 1 x Ironblaster
It's a little more of a power list than I'm used to taking, but I knew Kas would be playing the new Legions of Chaos rules, and is not adverse to a bit of power build himself. Also, the last time I beat Kasfunatu was April 2012 (four losses, two draws in the interim), so I had my eyes on the prize.

Sunday, 14 December 2014

Scarlet Accountants

Busy week, which is why I've only got half a unit done. 


Grave Undertakings: Warriors of Chaos vs Undead Legions

It's Just Not Right! 
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Back so soon! 'Tis I, Kraken, in jolly old original font.

And this time I won't get distracted by work (or xmas parties, or Shadows over Mordor) and fill in my parts whilst they are still in my head!

A ripping yarn of necromantic sorcery awaits you tonight, with 1600 points worth of Chaotic Warriors taking on a wide assortment of the undead. The new Khaine magic End Times rules are what's coming out to play here, courtesy of Gen. Kas, so expect more power dice than are humanly possible!


Charles Incarnage, a Chaos Lord - Mark of Khorne, Collar of Khorne, Mask of Many Eyes and Talisman of Protection
Vilitch the Curseling, a Vilitch the Curseling
Ivor Banner, an Exalted Hero - Battle Standard Bearer, Hideous Visage and Shield
40 Marauders - Mark of Khorne, Light Armour, Shields, Full Command, Great Weapons
2 Chaos Chariots

This was a very hastily thrown-together list, seeing as the first one I submitted wasn't actually legal! I was trying to do roughly the same thing, i.e. a big block of tooled up Khorne Marauders, but then I realised I couldn't hide Vilitch in them and tried to take a Warrior block too, but somehow forgot that I needed at least three units to be legit.

Kas kindly pointed this out to me to spare my blushes, so I tried again and came up with this chariot-and-maniac list. I kept Vilitch as a loner, as Kas had now explained some more of the new End Times rules to me. His ability to steal dice was potentially huge in a game where you have random caps on the maximum number of dice to use, for one, and the new ability to summon a magical focus to stand on meant being a loner wasn't quite so terrible.

Otherwise, simple - run the marauders at the foe, let the chariots hit flanks or archers, hope Vilitch blows some stuff up before he gets sniped!

The Damned Legion of Kas

Mannfred on his Megahorse
A Tomb Prince - Terrifying Mask of Eee, shield and Flail
25 Skeleton Warriors - Full Command and Screaming Banner
30 Skeleton Archers - Musician and Light Armour
A Corpsecart with Balefire
A Heirotitan
A Casket of Souls

I wanted to try undead legions having only played the one game with Nagash and no troops, and wanted to go for some summoning; although (again) did not do as much as I thought (150pt of hexwraiths and 50pts of skellies). 

I was toying with Arkhan, but Mannfred gave me a reroll of a dice for winds of magic (which now I think about it is probably less useful in a 4d6 game). 

This is what a Casket of Souls looks like via Skype

Saturday, 13 December 2014

Viral: Legions of Chaos vs Legions of Chaos

Head for the Heights!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

I hereby declare myself, Kraken, to be of sound body and normal font.

Bold as ever, I too am here! - Kas

Tonight brings you a foray into the relatively recent End Times, as we pitch a pair of Legions of Chaos against one another. Also featuring the hilarious Chaos Ascendant rules! Expect rains of fire, unexpected demons and more...

[We got a bit held up finishing this report, which is why it's a little vague about some details like army lists and why I've written up some of Kas's bits. I'd apologise, but it wasn't as though you were all waiting desperately in suspense for it, so I won't.]


Kraken's Legions of Chaos

I had an instant theme for my army. I knew what I wanted, the ultimate powers of the mixed list were open to me and I would not be denied.

I would have a shooting phase!

The Ruinous Rover, a.k.a. Gutrot Spume on a Nurgley Warshrine
Three Eye the Sailorman, a Sorceror Lord - lvl. 4 Lore of Metal, Skull of Katam, Charmed Shield, Obsidian Amulet
Searing Doom, Final Transformation, Glittering Robe, Gehenna's Golden Hounds
10 Chaos Warriors - shields and Banner of Swiftness, full command
10 Chaos Warriors - shields and Banner of Discipline, full command
A Chaos Chariot - because I don't leave home without one
10 Ungor Raiders - full command (which for them excludes a banner) and Shortbows! Yes!
10 Ungor Raiders - ditto

5 Putrid Blightkings - full command and Banner of Eternal Flame

Forces of Chaos, bow to me!
Knowing I'd be up against more Chaos and playing a hunch that there would be Demons involved somewhere, I decided I'd go for the Chaos equivalent of Multiple Small Units. This usually means 'about three tiny ones', but the additional chaff of beastmen skirmishers would help pad. I could hope for an ambush and the element of surprise more than any actual bow-related casualties from them. Anyone playing against WoC and losing even a single model in the shooting phase is probably going to die of shock, let's face it.

The Non-Spume Boat and Blightkings were auditioning more than anything. I rather like the idea of larger than standard infantry, and I like the models. Try before you buy, I reckon, and seeing as pretty much everything would be proxied I decided not to get hung up on my usual stern standards.

Yes I could not believe when you were going to impose on yourself that you could not summon daemons because you did not have the models! Kind, and seeing as you did it twice and also a prince, I wonder if I should have taken you up on that offer!

Kasfunatu's Legion of Chaos

Level 1 Bray Shaman with that magic-item killing-magic item.
A Sorceror Lord of Tzeentch on a Warshrine (level 4 Lore of Metal) with some combo of armour and helms that added up to a 1+ Armour Save and +4 ward
30 Nurgle-marked Chaos Warriors
2 Beasts of Nurgle

I wanted to try the mega-horde after seeing Epidimus in a daemon army. Having him boosting a pack of warriors had potential! But for Epidimus loci to kick in the unit had to have poison. Step forward Festus. 

Hmm, I probably need a dispel scroll: who is the cheapest level 1: Bray shaman, okay you can join the party too.

So sorceror lord on warshrine, behind the horde with three characters in and two single beasts... it's an odd formation!

Other forces of Chaos, bow to him!

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Brink of Doom: Warriors of Chaos vs Warriors of Chaos


"I'm afraid, Morag," Phlothos said. 

"Good," she replied. A rocking mound of shuddering, mouldering blubber, her gape-faced head was level with his own despite the height advantage of his palanquin. Why she had transformed was obvious, her path to power was ahead of his own. The many gifts of Papa Nurgle had culminated in her horrific rebirth as a monstrous Daemon Princess. 

And yet her voice was little changed, the same mucoid hiss it had always been. Her mannerisms, her tender care for his own crapulent body, these too stayed with her. It felt odd to be nursed by such vile blasphemy against nature, but not unpleasantly so. Even now, she prepared a syringe to drain the worst of the excretions from his lungs.

He couldn't walk at all now. The strength in his legs was gone, replaced by spikes of agony. His lungs were plugged solid with a grey substance a little like decaying rubber. And yet his hatred remained powerful. With Morag's ministrations, he felt he had the best possible chance of enacting his vengeance. All the same, the pitiful state of his body left him feeling anxious. 

"Will we make it in time?" he asked Morag for the eighth time that night. 

"Oh yes, my sweet," drooled the daemon. "We'll be at the river soon. It marks the edge of the plains. Once we're over that, it's but a few short days to Karaz-a-Karak."

"A bridge?"

"Yes, ancient and strong. Marked with old magics, but quite safe now."

"A bridge," Phlothos said. "I don't like bridges. Ah, well. If you say it's safe, I believe you. To a quick and easy crossing, then!"

Morag grinned her hideous agreement, and then plunged the heavy bronze syringe into his chest. 

Put my head on a spike!
It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Monday, 8 December 2014

Help Wanted: High Elves

In a week or so, I shall be proselytising the good word of Warhammer to a potential convert. He has good knowledge of the fluff (once possessing the coveted Lost and the Damned hardback), but hasn't rolled dice in anger since around 2001. We're planning a small-scale game to see if his interest in the hobby can be rekindled.

Being a silly chap, he likes High Elves. And despite promising to write an army list for him, I have no idea about High Elves. For me, if an elf isn't sneaking around the forest dressed in earth tones, then he's no proper elf at all. I appreciate that not all will agree with me there...

"... the face ain't listening. Nor is the gold birdie on top of the face."

As this is going to be a friendly game, I'd feel better about bringing a list I didn't write myself, just to be sure I wasn't setting my opponent up to lose (for lose he SHALL! DESTROY! SMASH!... sorry, friendly game. I'll have to write that the back of my hand).

So this is my plea: I'm calling out to the wisdom of the internet for a High Elf army list (or just some pointers) along the following lines:

  • 1200pts
  • A 'tutorial' army
    (something for a beginner to keep track of - units and items with simple rules and nothing that requires advanced tactical play, such as MSU)
  • Something that gives a good introduction to the High Elf army
  • I'll be proxying everything, so there's no restrictions for what you can pick.
  • The opposing army, if it matters, will be Dwarves (from my army that hasn't really been updated since 4th Ed, so there won't be many new tricks in there).

Your thoughts would be much appreciated. And remember: you're not doing it for me, you're doing it for Warhammer...

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Gor the Merrier

Like many current governments, I don't like freeloaders. Sitting about in my cupboard, taking up space and doing nothing to earn their keep - well, enough is enough! Time to slash all their benefits, expect them to work zero hours contracts and then send them back to whatever wartorn hellhole they came from.

No! Not Poland! Anything but that!

Saturday, 6 December 2014

Let's Spear It For The Boys

And just like that we're back to business.

Painted Dark Elves

It was a toss-up whether these Delves would break me before I broke them. Having cracked a unit of 40 Dreadspears in a week, I reckon I've stormed well past the half-way mark. Nothing but gravy from here on in, as this was the last large unit of monotonous troopers.

Saturday, 29 November 2014

No more Games Workshop?

Did that title feel like clikbait? It felt like clickbait. Sorry about the clickbait.

But here's something mildly interesting I saw this morning: I was in town and I thought I'd pop into my local Games Workshop, only to discover that it had been replaced by some new franchise...

Games Workshop store renamed 'Warhammer'
I'm already missing the red-and-gold signage. It looks like a Waterstones.
(a Waterhammerstone?)

Fortunately, this new outlet still sold fantastic miniatures at low, low prices. They'd kept the displays in the same place, the same staff, even the same website url on the window.

Unless I've been walking around with my eyes closed (I don't rule out that possibility), this is a relatively new development. I wonder if this is a local decision (can't be too flashy with signage in a World Heritage City, after all - although Krispy Kreme seem to manage it).

Or perhaps this is a harbinger of a wider rebranding (once The Hobbit franchise ends, GW will only have two products, both beginning with 'Warhammer' - why not call it 'The Warhammer Shop'?), They are, as they often state, a miniatures company, not a games one.

End Times indeed...

Sunday, 23 November 2014

Hive Fleet Kraken

 Here's part two of the Genestealer Job. As appropriate to something hulk-based, I painted them green.

Tuesday, 18 November 2014


The Ruinous Rover

Captain Karkan's ship, the Brass Mermaid, was a whaler out of Erengrad. A small, fast ship, it could keep up with the sleek blackwhales that bred in the nearby Sea of Claws, and turned a decent profit bringing their carcasses in to port to be stripped for fat, meat and tough hide. 

This changed on the day the first mate, Dorgsky, spotted a sinking vessel during a hunting trip. 

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Forever in Blue Genestealers

Well, you shouldn't mess with the classics.

Darvon VI - original and best

It's a two-part commission for General Leofa, and this is the first chunk of it. Some time back, I swore a solemn oath that I would never, no matter how desperate I got, paint my old and substantial clutch of first edition Space Hulk 'stealers. Obviously I have no problem if they belong to someone else, then.

Saturday, 15 November 2014

Born To Be Wild Riders

I started working on this in 1996. So when you consider Kraken's painting rate of a new unit per week, I think I've earned the tortoise badge of this blog.

This cavalry was one of the things that sold me on Wood Elves in the first place: the horses were a terrific sculpt, leaping forth with an energy that we wouldn't see again until the Glade Rider plastics, many years later.

I miss the Red Catalogue so much.

When the time came to start the army, I bought as many as I could afford (which was five), had a hell of a time converting a massive standard out of a coat hanger (which now adorns my Savage Orc BSB) and painted them red, bronze and white (you know - traditional forest colours).

Similar to these, just painted by an idiot.

They served me well for many years (actually, they usually got punked, but they looked good doing it), but in the end, they were so off-theme, I could take it no longer. At first I tried painting over the bright red elements, but they soon found themselves soaking in Dettol.

It was until 2008, just prior to the first WoffBoot, that I turned my attention to them. Or rather, General Leofa did, emptying his bitz box and lending his expertise with a pair of clippers. The models were clipped, prepped and only waiting for me to get around to assembling them.

I got around to it last month.

Wood Elf Wild Riders, converted from old metal Elf Cavalry.
A mere six-and-a-half years. My 40k Orks are jealous.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Orksodus: Savage Orcs vs Warriors of Chaos


Bonekrunk Stonesplitter wiped his axe on the cloak of the dead captain. The humans had fought hard for these heaps of rock, but he couldn't understand why. The stonework may have been impressively big, like an enormous hut, but it was too square, too enclosed, the walls too flat and featureless. It didn't even have any idols carved onto them. His lads could put that right, but there was no time: the Shaman wanted them on the move.

Wurrzag Ud Ura Zahubu had found his Waaagh! less than a month ago. The Shaman had told them it was the will of Gork (or possibly Mork) that they take him north, out of the Badlands and into the lands beyond. These were soft lands, full of tilled fields and stone houses. The 'Bored Princes' they were called. But the enemies they met hadn't seemed like princes, or bored. Just terrified and squishy.

Bonekrunk wandered among his celebrating lads. Some were still ripping trinkets from their defeated enemies, a few had started a chariot race, others were harvesting bones for decoration and flinging the offcut flesh to the Dusty, their pet river troll. He found Wurrzag in the centre of the excitement, crossed-legged, a hum of green energy about him.

Bonekrunk cleared his throat nosily. Two flares of yellow-green appeared from behind the eye sockets of Wurrzag's mask, and the Shaman turned to him.

"Anuvver army comin'" he warned.

"Good," snorted Bonekrunk. "More krumpin' for us."

"Ain't like dese 'umans. Dey is ironshod," Wurrzag intoned in a distant voice. "Dey are stronger, 'arder, and wiv mighty creatures fighting fer them."

Bonekrunk spat. "Don't matter much. Krumpin' is krumpin'. No-one is 'arder dan my ladz."

To the north, the clouds of dust sifted apart to reveal an army. By the tributary of a poisonous-looking river, massed ranks of armoured warriors had gathered, surrounded by metal chariots, a deformed giant and what appeared to be a flying kayak.

"Don't let dem get past dis boundary," said Wurrzag. "Dey shall not pass. Dat is da will of Gork."

The freshly cleaned stone axe scraped against his bone club, and Bonekrunk was ready to fight. "Ere we go," he said with determination.

"Or possibly Mork," the shaman added.

It's Time to Play the Music!
It's Time to Light the Lights!
It's Time to Meet Some Muppets

'Cos it's


Thursday, 13 November 2014

EXT: Sepulchre

Hanging out in Victorian graveyards was a thing I used to do when I was younger, moodier and living in London. And I don't even have the excuse that I was a goth or an emu or whatnot, I was just a nerd who liked graveyards.

Time well spent, I reckon. Now I can use my middle-aged freetime to daub tiny plastic fences and feel quite sure they're a reasonable replica of (for example) Highgate Cemetary in January. Plus bonus skulls, obviously. The longer one is exactly the same piece as the last long one I did. Rather dull to paint, but they sadly don't do themselves. Nor do Autopainting Models hit GW's shelves until after the End Times are done.

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Wrecking Ball: Warriors of Chaos vs Ogre Kingdoms

Turn Up The Hype!
It's All Skype Fight Night!

Good evening and welcome, Fantasy Fans! I, General Kraken, shall be writing in the plainclothes of normal text.

Why hello again; I, Kasfunatu, shall be writing in unsubtle bold.

Very little fancy for tonight's match, a straightforward rough-and-tumble throwdown pitching a horde of ogres against a Tzeentchian warband. But just to give it that distinctive Woffboot flavour, we'll be using Blind Deployment and Secret Objectives!

I really liked the blind deployment and made me reminisce over setting up behind screens of cardboard boxes. Can we do this again?




Your usual, General Kraken? A pint of Chaos Warriors and a packet of chariots? Why thanks, don't mind if I do.

Mark of Tzeentch, a Chaos Lord: Mark of Tzeentch, Hellfire Sword, Scaled Skin, Soul Feeder, Talisman of Endurance, Disc of Tzeentch
Burnward the Crisp, a sorceror: Level 1 Lore of Fire (Fireball), Dispel Scroll
Withnails Iniseyes, an exalted battle standard bearer: Talisman of Preservation

18 Chaos Warriors - Shields, Gleaming Pennant
15 Chaos Marauders - Flails
A Chaos Chariot

A Gorebeast Chariot with Mark of Tzeentch
A Warshrine, similarly marked

A Chaos Spawn, same mark again

Oh my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age!

I hear that a disc-riding combat monster is a decent goer for WoCs, so I reckoned I'd give that a go. I didn't know who I'd be fighting when I chose the list, and although I was mostly horrified to hear it would be Ogres, that Hellfire Sword was a great pick to bring against the multi-wound monster men.

Mind you, the lord would have to do a lot of heavy lifting with it to earn his points back, and I'd be running very light on magic. And most of my guys weren't really tooled for bear (lucky I'd be fighting Ogres, then), so I wasn't looking forward to combat as much as I might usually do. All the same,  I reckoned with a bit of luck, I'd got some tough stuff to hit the ogres with.


Graznak, Butcher Lvl 2 (beasts): General, gold sigil sword, dispel scroll  - 175
Fuj, Bruiser - BSB, Dragonhide banner, heavy armour, brace of pistols  - 194
Lummo, Butcher Lvl 2 (maw): hellheart, ironfist - 188

15 Ogres - Full command and lookout gnoblar with ironfists - 515
5 Belchers - Musician - 225
1 Ironblaster - 170
1 Rhinox - Champion, heavy armour, ironfist, brace of pistols - 131

Talk about yer monstrous regiment. I didn't think I could proxy this fully, but I managed with the tactical use of terminators. For which I'd doubtless pay later. 

The list was one of a pool of unused 1600pt lists that we rolled randomly against and was built not knowing who it was going to face. I really like playing this way for random friendlies.

If you want beasts, you need a second butcher, and we are ogres, so we need a bsb... so the character choices were made quite quickly. The gut butcher cast some spells, but only when I had spare dice and their effect had no bearing on the game; probably could have been lvl1.

I had never tried the dragonhide banner before so wanted to try that; and it made sense to be in a horde; it may suit guts better, but I then had to sacrifice the blaster if I wanted a horde, so went with bulls... I wanted my moving cannon.... I did not move it all game!

I do like the single rhinox champion and against this list it proved a pivotal (lucky) choice in one combat.

The hellheart is a given (but was not actually used).

With hindsight/foresight and knowing my enemy list, I would have dropped a few things and squeezed in a second rhinox. Although would not favour that as a general option.

Friday, 7 November 2014

Cut Off a Head

This week: our Two-For-One All-You-Can-Be-Eaten-By diner special!

Hydra miniature
Up from the depths
Thirty Stories High
Breathing Fire
His head in the Sky

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

The Boot Times

Continuing on from last month's rules debate...

...I have a question.

What do we reckon about the use of End Times rules, models, etc in the Woffboot? 

Sunday, 2 November 2014

Hot Headed

Sunday? Must be Delf o' Clock.

This must be one of the most hated units on the Warhammer field at the moment, I reckon. Certainly it's one of mine. Ultra-manouverable, ward-saving bastards the lot of them. But they have a saving grace, a fatal flaw if you will.

Friday, 31 October 2014

Nightmare Scenario

"Pappa. Pappa, Freja help paint."

Painting Guide:

  • Front: Bilious Green 
  • Back: Temple Guard Blue 
  • Legs: Lucius Lilac
  • Highlights: Changeling Pink followed by Emperor's Children followed by Changeling Pink again, with special attention to the hands which had to be pink. Pink! Pink!

Happy Halloween, and may all your offspring find your painting trays well-stocked.

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Forest of Gloom: Warriors of Chaos vs Wood Elves

Phlothos Orgmeier hacked a violent cough, then leant over the side of his throne to spit the produce out. The wooden frame creaked and groaned as his weight shifted against it. He even heard a soft pop as one of the corpulent bearers exploded wetly underneath. He didn't need to look at what he'd spat out (nobody should have to do that) to know it was mostly lung. 

"I'm dying, Morag," he said. "How much time do I have?"

"More than enough," Morag said reassuringly. 

"Everybody always thinks that," Phlothos said. "And they're always wrong."

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

If You Go Down To The Woods Today...

When you talk about bear riders, everyone automatically assumes Dwarves. But to me, bears seem more synonymous with the woods. They use it as a toilet, for one thing.

So here we have a proxied Great Stag that happened mostly by accident. This conversion was no picnic.

Wood Elf Great Stag conversion, using Tsar Boris of Kislev's Bear
Just bear with me...

Our story begins, as so many of them do, with me being foolish on eBay. I found an incomplete Tsar Boris Ursus model for a tiny sum (£1 with p&p, or something equally irresistible). It was a nice model, back from the days when Kislev had a semi-army book and wasn't just a pre-End Times snack.

Tsar Boris of Kislev
Dasvidaniya, tovarich.

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Scouting for Dark Elves

Sunday means it's time to reveal the Dark Elves for the week. Running parallel to their Woody Cousins, I've got a pack of evil scouts.

Charge of the Dark Brigade

Slow but steady through the last few days. I've clearly been on the end of the same Plague Wind as Gen. Stylus. While bent over these tiny horsemen, I've been hacking away like an attic-dwelling bohemian in Paris, and I wasn't sure I was going to get the unit completed. So I took a bunch of morphine-laced cough suppressant and went nuts.

Friday, 24 October 2014

Scouting For Wood Elves

A lazy update this week, as I've been brought low by a stinking cold (if you want to see the arrival of something big, green and Nurgley, check out my handkerchief).

So just a rebasing of my Scouts (or Deepwood Scouts, as we must now call them), but they do have some historical virtue: these were the first models I painted up specifically for a WoffBoot. The very first WoffBoot, as it happens.

Classic Wood Elf Deepwood Scouts
Second on the podium, baby!

Friday, 17 October 2014

Purple Polearms

Hard to think of a paint scheme for a unit named 'The Black Guard' that isn't pretty black-reliant.

EXT: Graveyard Wall

More scenery, this time some of the walls and fences from the Garden of Morr set.

Thursday, 16 October 2014

Dance Then, Wherever You May Be

Waywatchers may be the iconic Wood Elf unit, but I'd say that Wardancers run a pretty close second.

(there is an old issue of Inferno - Leofa may still have the copy - that contains a one-page comic strip where a single wardancer takes down a pack of Beastmen like a prancing ninja. That sold me on them).

I have quite a number of the models, probably more than is optimal in the current rulebook (especially as internet wisdom says the optimum number is 0), but I like the models, the fluff and the versatility of their dances, so I'll be giving them a run-out in the near future.

Warhammer Quest Wardancer
He's a Bladesinger, but let's just call him 'Brucie'
The unit champion is still my favourite model in the troupe, possibly in the army. Not quite as flouncy as some of the 6th Edition designs, but still a lot a character and movement going on here.

For the white-blond hair, I think I started with a Skull White base and gave it repeated washes of thinned Bleached Bone - not the way I'd ever do it now, but it seemed to come out well. I tried to give the black blades an eerie glow by drybrushing white, then giving a glaze of Green Ink.

I also managed to avoid the 'crazy eyes' problem than bedevils the rest of my troupe - by giving him green eyeshadow as his talismanic tattoos (with the tights and the hair, he is so Bowie).

Sunday, 12 October 2014

Don't Cross the Bows

First twenty done! 

Trying to calculate this as a percentage of the total job is too depressing to contemplate. There's at least one unit of pretty much everything Dark Elves have to offer in my cupboard right now. Some of them are forty strong. 

Saturday, 11 October 2014

EXT: Gloomy Monument

Whilst you're painting rank and file, it's nice to have a treat at the end of them. 

Snowy and dead, that's how I like my greenery. 

Thursday, 9 October 2014

Swoffboot - Every Repeater Crossbow has its Thorn

It's All Non-Skype Fight Night Afternoon! 

I had the pleasure of visiting Kraken's home this weekend, and took the opportunity for a couple of Swoffboots (an end times battle Nagash (me) vs the wizard's league (Kraken and Stylus)) and the below Dark Elf vs Warriors battle.

To mirror previous reports, I will be writing normally and Kraken, who also took the photos and made the chronicler maps, will be in italics. 

Hello and good evening. I'm also writing in Times New Roman, because I'm a classically-minded sort of chap. 


Kraken had had several games with his warriors, but nothing over 2000 pts; we had an afternoon free from the lesser known spells of Fist and Foot of Freja and so opted for a big game. Kraken could muster up to about 4 or 5k; but we went for something between 3 and 4 so that there were some options. After a few tweaks, the battle lines drawn and the points settled on 3600.

Knowing I could field something approaching the full mass of my foot soldiers was a delight, especially as I knew I could take some hefty characters and wibbly monsters to back them up. There was one in particular I knew I'd field. I don't often get the chance, and his song keeps playing on GWFM at the moment. 

The Dark Elves

, Dreadlord
- Dark Pegasus, Sword of Anti-heroes, Obsidian Trinket, Cloak of Twilight, Brace of Repeater Handbows, Heavy Armour, Sea Dragon Cloak, Shield - 312

Daeris, Supreme Sorceress (Lvl 4 Shadow) - Talisman of Preservation, Dispel Scroll and dark steed - 310
Tullaris Dreadbringer - 155
Avornor, Master - Sword of Might, Dawnstone and dark steed - 137
Iarel, Death Hag - BSB (with Rampager's banner), Witchbrew and Cauldron of Blood - 385
Tariel, Sorceress (Lvl 2 Life) - Talisman of Endurance and dark steed - 155
Daechir, Assassin - Additional hand weapon, Manbane and Potion of Strength - 132

30 Corsairs - Musician, Standard Bearer (with flaming banner) and Repeater Crossbows - 360
20 Darkshards - Musician and shields - 270
10 Dark Riders - Musician, Repeater Crossbows and Shields - 210
10 Witch Elves -110
21 Black Guard - Full command (with banner of swiftness and Relic Sword) - 370
10 Shades - Great Weapon - 180
2 Repeater Bolt Throwers - 140
8 Doomfire Warlocks - Champion - 210
1 Kharibdyss - 160



The shadow wizard rolled Mindrazor, Withering (both awesome in this match), Pit of Shades (hopefully an ogre killer) and a free choice, although just elected for Miasma. 

The life wizard rolled poorly. He did not cast a spell, nor were the ones he had worthwhile. This wizard was an expensive extra channel attempt; and did nothing effective all game. 

The Warriors of Chaos

Archaon, Lord of the End Times (Feat. Dobbin) - 650
Kox, Lvl 2 Chaos Sorceror (Lore of Fire) with Skull of Katam and Obsidian Trinket - 175
Dyx, Exalted Hero BSB with Mark of Tzeentch, Flail, Scaled Skin, Shield, Blasted Standard - 198
Testucles, Exalted Hero with Mark of Nurgle, Filth Mace, Shield, Enchanted Shield, Soul Feeder, Palanquin of Nurgle - 208

31 Marauders - Mark of Tzeentch, Shields, Light Armour, Full Command - 310
15 Marauders - Mark of Nurgle, Light Armour, Great Weapons, Full Command - 180
20 Chaos Warriors - Mark of Tzeentch, Shields, Full Command, Lichebone Pennant - 340
Chaos Chariot - 110
10 Chosen - Mark of Khorne, Shields, Halberds, Full Command, Banner of Swiftness - 295
Warshine - Mark of Tzeentch - 135
Gorebeast Chariot - Mark of Tzeentch - 140
4 Chaos Ogres - Mark of Slaanesh, Champion - 140
Chaos Spawn - Mark of Tzeentch - 70
Chaos Spawn - 50
Dragon Ogre Shaggoth - Extra Hand Weapon - 220
Mutalith Vortex Beast - 240

Wizards' Cup: Sudden Death

We'd established that out of the Eight Lores of Magic, Shadow ruled supreme. You'd think that would be enough. All the wizards, pals once more, settling nicely in the pavilion to analyze the flow of play over a mug of ale.


For a new Lore has recently arisen, the Lore of Undeath, and with it, a whacking great big model to wield it. 

What better for our heroic wizards to face than a group challenge? For 1600 points (give or take), we decided to serve them up a last battle.

This coincided with the guest presence of General Kasfunatu, holidaying in sunny Sweden for the weekend. As a collector and master of the Vampiric undead, he'd fallen prey to the temptation of the new model. Although it hadn't made it over, being in bits back home, we could field a proxy easily enough. 

See? An uncanny likeness. 

[Nagash Fans, watch this space - I'll be converting and painting the Lord of the Undead in due course!]

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Death, Be Not Proud

They had him trapped.

The Grey Wizard's lair was an unassuming place. A milliner's on the outside, making and selling fine hats for the gentry of Kemperbad. Excellent cover for the use of strange chemicals and unusual materials. Who would guess that mercury and peacock feathers were being put to more esoteric purposes than the creation of fashion? The hatmaker and his wife were no doubt pawns of the wizard. Well-thought of locally. They would have to be careful.

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Let's Talk WoffBoot IX

Too early you say? Come off it: you can already buy advent calendars in Tesco, this is ample time to talk about Spring 2015.

The Bloody Nine

With the help of my lovely assistant CTRL-V, I'll replicate the rules/proposed rules structure from last year.