Saturday, 31 December 2016

The Tally of 2016

So that was 2016 (stop crying, or at least have a brief pause to re-hydrate)...

The Year In Review

And this is the update to "Project: Micawber", let's all say it together...

"Annual leadpile twenty bestigor, annual painting nineteen bestigor nineteen got and a ungor, result: stagnation.
Annual leadpile twenty bestigor, annual painting twenty bestigor nought and a ungor, result: progress."

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Gorechosen: A Christmas Story

Since family Christmases are traditionally a time of wrath-fuelled conflict with no mercy or quarter, I thought it would be a good time to try out a game of Gorechosen.

"For the hundredth time - you don't get any money on Free Parking!"

Let the slaughter commence!

Monday, 26 December 2016

Lead and Taxes - Year in Review

That time of year again. The Reckoning.

How has 2016 treated you, wargamers? As badly as it treated everyone else?

Image result for trump
Abbadon the Defrauder, Lord of the End Times

Sunday, 25 December 2016


The Woffboot Chronicles wish you a 
Merry Grim Christmas Darkmas!

And that, neophyte Watkins, is why we don't take our helmets off in space.

Saturday, 24 December 2016

Devils From The Realms Of Glory

On the twenty-fourth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... the gates of hell opened!

The last day of the Advent traditionally has the biggest door - so buckle up for this update!

Friday, 23 December 2016

The Coming of the Magi

Oh so close. You can almost taste the brandy butter.

Thursday, 22 December 2016

Payment Clause Is Coming To Town

On the twenty-second day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a fat man with a white beard.

And he's ho-ho-homicidal!

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

Battle at the Fords: Anglo-Saxons vs Vikings

And now for that most festive of Christmas traditions - Dark Age slaughter!

"Dear Lindisfarne Monks,
You were out when we called, so your sack and pillage has been left with a neighbour.
Love and hugs, The Vikings."

Ketill was angry after the attack on the tower failed. "If even the peasants in this land can beat us," he said, "there is little chance any of us will be remember fondly back home." His men didn't agree, as they all wanted nothing more than to go home and lick their wounds at this point, but they were all too scared of Ketill to say so.

Ketill made them row the boats a way up the river during the night while the Saxons were still celebrating their victory up on the hill. The river soon became marshy on one side, then the other, and finally there was nowhere to row as the bottom was too shallow and covered in reeds. Ketill knew where the Saxons had come from and reasoned their towns must be on the south bank, so he gave the order to put ashore there.

It was hard going wading through the marsh at night, and the men moaned a lot. But after some tough going, they reached a causeway made of reeds that clearly led somewhere.

"This is our chance for revenge," Ketill said. "Their town must be over there. We will burn it before dawn. Draw swords and tread light..."

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

A Nice Cup Of Grognog!

On the twentieth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a wee snifter to keep out the cold.

Don't worry, he won't bite.
Just bark.

Mugs at the ready!

Monday, 19 December 2016

The Beard's Head Carol

Image result for dungeon doors

This guy knows his doors. Look him up.

Sunday, 18 December 2016

Oh Christmas Treeman

On the eighteenth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a Yule log - with swagger!

What a very artistic way to kill a tree.

See it while you can - it's going on the fire on Boxing Day!

Saturday, 17 December 2016

Seasons Greetings of the Witch

Image result for dungeon doors
Secret Door

Friday, 16 December 2016

Festive Balls

On the sixteenth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a door with a lovely set of knockers.

Feel free to play the Benny Hill theme in your head.

But these are no ordinary balls. These balls have Night Goblins on the end of them.

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Five Gold Things

Image result for dungeon doors

Okay, five might be a slight exaggeration.

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Air Traffork Controller

On the fourteenth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a blessed relief from this continued escalation!

And if you haven't heard the Christopher Lee version, I suggest you seek it as a matter of urgency

From now on, it's single models only, starting with this little drummer boy...

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Santa Claws is Coming to Town

Image result for dungeon doors

I hope you've already ordered all your festive GW merch this year. Better hurry if not, they're only reprinting Space Hulk once more every December for the rest of your life.

Monday, 12 December 2016

Christmas Elves

On the twelfth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Twelve Elves Off The Shelves

Fancy, fragile, functionally useless ... Elves, how we've missed you!

Let's get these guys back to Santa!

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Bleed the World

Image result for dungeon doors

Ring those clanging chimes of doom, everyone!

Saturday, 10 December 2016

Ten Thunderers Thundering

On the tenth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Ten Gunners Gunning!

Shoot friend, and enter.

The last time we saw these gun-toting dwarves, they were being alternately crushed by squigs, fanatics or chariots. After that, I felt I owed them a new banner and a repaint.

Friday, 9 December 2016

The Thief, the Crook, the Knife and its Lover

Image result for dungeon doors
Bonus points if you've made it this far without hearing Fairytale of New York in the shops more than fifty times.

Thursday, 8 December 2016

Eight Expendable Extras

On the eighth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Eight Goblins Knocking!

"Don't worry, they won't get through that unless they have a ... oh, they do."

More ... more... Moria!

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Two Hammers Hamming

Image result for dungeon doors

No peeking, now. Wait until after breakfast.

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

I Fyrd The Bells On Christmas Day

On the sixth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Six Anglos Saxoning!

I know 2016 is unlikely to be remembered fondly by history, but it looks like we're going to get through it without a second series of The Last Kingdom, so it could have been far, far worse...

Monday, 5 December 2016

W-assailing the Castle

Image result for dungeon doors

Door number five...

Sunday, 4 December 2016

Satan's Little Helpers

On the fourth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Four Familiar Faces!

And I know Kraken managed to gazump me with my own damn miniatures. Let's brush past this indictment of my painting speed and consider this a Christmas repeat...

Saturday, 3 December 2016

A Familyier Christmas

Image result for dungeon doors


Friday, 2 December 2016

Rule 63, By Toutatis!

On the second day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Two Gaulish Ladies!

Read on to discover an ingenious method of getting around copyright...

Thursday, 1 December 2016

They're in the AdVents!

Oh yes, we're doing this schtick again!

The rules are simple:

1. One new post each day, preferably featuring freshly painted models
2. Awful awful puns

We did chests last year, so this time it's the more authentically adventical Doors!

Image result for dungeon doors

Sunday, 27 November 2016

Safe Sects

Yeah, more of these guys.

Friday, 25 November 2016

The Year of the Plague

Vulgo & ab effectu atram mortem vocatibant.
                                            - Pontanus, Rerum Danicarum Historia

Image result for black death

Looking back over the last year's worth of posts, you might be excused for thinking it's been a rather quiet year for we who Woff. But no! As previously mentioned, we've been playing a lot of Zombicide: Black Plague. Enough that we finished the campaign that comes with the core game. 

Time for a review!

Sunday, 20 November 2016

Bump 'n Grund

This is an auspicious post - we've reached number 600!

(so judging by the number of subscribers to this blog, that means you get to share around 100 posts per reader - who says you don't get value with the WoffBoot?)

A report from Dungeon Saga, Dwarf King's Quest - Mission 7: Final Insult.

Back to business: after coming so close in Mission 7 of Dwarf King's Quest, we decided to have another crack at Grund, the little guy with the great big hammer!

Kraken is plain, Stylus is bold, the dungeon is deep and the gags are old - let's do this!
(if you get bored, scroll to the end - there's a vote!)

Friday, 18 November 2016

Grassy Gnoll

No painted models for a few weeks, so here's a short post remedying that.

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

I never got my picture shown by Tony Hart...

... but this TOTALLY makes up for it!

Your eyes do not deceive you - gracing the digital space of the Games Workshop Gallery is MY Squig Herder!

(If you look now, it will even be the first image in the top left. I assume there's a ranking system)

Thursday, 27 October 2016

Miner Crime Squad

I won't have any scary models ready in time for Halloween this year. So I settled with painting some models pumpkin colour instead.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Dwarf King's Crushed

The Dungeon Saga saga continues, and this time we get to face off against the penultimate boss villain: the eponymous Dwarf King himself!

And this is just the starting room.

Time to bump and Grund!

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Going Solo

Dungeon Saga time once again! After banging our collective heads against the infuriating turnstile of Mission 6, we decided our SkypeBoot sessions were too precious for a repeat, and that's we'd jump ahead to the next one.

However, the completionist in me couldn't resist the chance to have one more swing at this Sisyphean quest. In the absence of any comrades, I could also try out the much-vaunted AI Rules for solo play.

Sunday, Monday .. happy days.

Let's find out if the real problem with this level ... was other people.

Sunday, 16 October 2016

Fire Away

The Infernal Crypts campaign roars to a fiery climax!

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Dungeon Saga Evil Dead II: Dead Ringers

Yes, these may be the same skeletons you saw last year - but now they've been rebooted with all-female skeletons!

Dungeon Saga: Dwarf King's Quest painted evil dead: skeleton warriors.
Look closer for the slightly wider sciatic notches!

Let's dig over these corpses one more time!

Saturday, 8 October 2016

Tale Spin

By Grabthar's Hammer, we're never getting out of this dungeon...

"I think we've got this - as long as that garbage-snake thing doesn't play an Interrupt card!)

After suffering our first defeat in the Turned Around quest of spinning rooms, Leofa and myself (Stylus) tried to shake off four months of dungeon rustiness and have another attempt. As usual Kraken was Overlording, and also operating the webcam on his phone, so you'll have to imagine the images.

Image result for revolving room trap
This is not what I meant when I said level up.

By the second hour, I wasn't sure if the board was spinning or I was. I, Kraken, controlled the evil dead, while generals Leofa and Stylus were the forces of heroism, righteousness and revolution.

And so, forewarned about the tricky spinning mechanic, and forearmed with the knowledge of most of the dungeon layout, we set off to complete this quest!

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

EXT: The Old Taverna

Ruins of Osgiliath are briefly back in stock, GW? Thanks for letting me know. I'll take some, thanks.

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Death Swatch

Pop quiz, hotshots!

Thursday, 15 September 2016

Hell. It's about time.

What's this? Stylus is outpainting me by a mile this month! Legions - attack!

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Never Mind The Orruks

Of course I had to paint some Age of Sigmar greenskins, and of course I was suckered into the jaw-dropping value of the 'Getting Started' Ironjawz set.

Orruk Ironjawz Ardboyz for Age of Sigmar.
To sum up: buy the monstrous cavalry and get a set of infantry and a character for free!
You'll feel like you're *making* money!

Let's not dwell on the impact to my unpainted leadpile and crack on with the minis!

Monday, 12 September 2016

Just A Whole Lotta Goblins

With all the wizards and warlords filling up my goblin ranks, I felt the need to add some more Core troops.

Goblins for Orcs & Goblins, Warhammer Fantasy Battle
Settle in, there's 36 more to go...

I finally geared myself up to repaint and rebase these lovelies.

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

The Little Waaagh! That Could

One good thing about having a cluttered painting table - everything seems to get finished at once!

Goblin Grom the Paunch for Orcs & Goblins, Warhammer Fantasy Battle.
Especially if you're basically just rebasing them

Time to conjure up some Shamans!

Monday, 5 September 2016

Spiderfang, Spiderfang,...

Does whatever's a spider's ... thang?

Goblin Big Boss on Gigantic Spider conversion for Warhammer Fantasy Battle
Look out - here comes the spider's thang!
Hold onto your muffets!

Thursday, 1 September 2016

Steppe By Steppe

Why have a goblin wolf rider, when you could have a hobgoblin wolf rider? And why have any old hobgoblins, when you can have a Dogs of War regiment?

Oglah Khan's Hobgoblin Wolf Boyz for Orcs & Goblins, Warhammer Fantasy Battle
Let slip the Hobs of war!

Saturday, 27 August 2016

The Beetles

They're all the rage just now, this lot.

Lunchtime HeroQuest #4 - Prince Magnus' Gold

A bank heist! Our heroes must traverse narrow corridors and recover three chests of gold from Gulthor, the Chaos Warrior.

The wounds tally up as the adventurers get singled out - will adversity forge them into a team?

All this, and more, on another exciting Lunchtime HeroQuest!...

Friday, 26 August 2016

Grom The Paunch

Promoting a positive body image since 1984...

Avatars of War Goblin King.

Let's jump on that chariot and ride straight towards Type 2 Diabetes!

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

No Water Spout Is Safe

My painting table has been jostling with quite a few projects lately. I can't tell if it's made me more productive, or less, but it seems like everything's been at 90% completion for a while.

A painting update for Forest Goblin Spider Riders from Warhammer Fantasy Battle
"Let's go get us some tuffet!"

Anyway, they're finally starting to roll off the assembly time - starting with the Spider Riders!