Saturday, 31 December 2016

The Tally of 2016

So that was 2016 (stop crying, or at least have a brief pause to re-hydrate)...

The Year In Review

And this is the update to "Project: Micawber", let's all say it together...

"Annual leadpile twenty bestigor, annual painting nineteen bestigor nineteen got and a ungor, result: stagnation.
Annual leadpile twenty bestigor, annual painting twenty bestigor nought and a ungor, result: progress."

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Gorechosen: A Christmas Story

Since family Christmases are traditionally a time of wrath-fuelled conflict with no mercy or quarter, I thought it would be a good time to try out a game of Gorechosen.

"For the hundredth time - you don't get any money on Free Parking!"

Let the slaughter commence!

Monday, 26 December 2016

Lead and Taxes - Year in Review

That time of year again. The Reckoning.

How has 2016 treated you, wargamers? As badly as it treated everyone else?

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Abbadon the Defrauder, Lord of the End Times

Sunday, 25 December 2016


The Woffboot Chronicles wish you a 
Merry Grim Christmas Darkmas!

And that, neophyte Watkins, is why we don't take our helmets off in space.

Saturday, 24 December 2016

Devils From The Realms Of Glory

On the twenty-fourth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... the gates of hell opened!

The last day of the Advent traditionally has the biggest door - so buckle up for this update!

Friday, 23 December 2016

The Coming of the Magi

Oh so close. You can almost taste the brandy butter.

Thursday, 22 December 2016

Payment Clause Is Coming To Town

On the twenty-second day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a fat man with a white beard.

And he's ho-ho-homicidal!

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

Battle at the Fords: Anglo-Saxons vs Vikings

And now for that most festive of Christmas traditions - Dark Age slaughter!

"Dear Lindisfarne Monks,
You were out when we called, so your sack and pillage has been left with a neighbour.
Love and hugs, The Vikings."

Ketill was angry after the attack on the tower failed. "If even the peasants in this land can beat us," he said, "there is little chance any of us will be remember fondly back home." His men didn't agree, as they all wanted nothing more than to go home and lick their wounds at this point, but they were all too scared of Ketill to say so.

Ketill made them row the boats a way up the river during the night while the Saxons were still celebrating their victory up on the hill. The river soon became marshy on one side, then the other, and finally there was nowhere to row as the bottom was too shallow and covered in reeds. Ketill knew where the Saxons had come from and reasoned their towns must be on the south bank, so he gave the order to put ashore there.

It was hard going wading through the marsh at night, and the men moaned a lot. But after some tough going, they reached a causeway made of reeds that clearly led somewhere.

"This is our chance for revenge," Ketill said. "Their town must be over there. We will burn it before dawn. Draw swords and tread light..."

It's All-Skype Fight Night!

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

A Nice Cup Of Grognog!

On the twentieth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a wee snifter to keep out the cold.

Don't worry, he won't bite.
Just bark.

Mugs at the ready!

Monday, 19 December 2016

The Beard's Head Carol

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This guy knows his doors. Look him up.

Sunday, 18 December 2016

Oh Christmas Treeman

On the eighteenth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a Yule log - with swagger!

What a very artistic way to kill a tree.

See it while you can - it's going on the fire on Boxing Day!

Saturday, 17 December 2016

Seasons Greetings of the Witch

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Secret Door

Friday, 16 December 2016

Festive Balls

On the sixteenth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a door with a lovely set of knockers.

Feel free to play the Benny Hill theme in your head.

But these are no ordinary balls. These balls have Night Goblins on the end of them.

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Five Gold Things

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Okay, five might be a slight exaggeration.

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Air Traffork Controller

On the fourteenth day of Advent the WoffBoot brought to me ... a blessed relief from this continued escalation!

And if you haven't heard the Christopher Lee version, I suggest you seek it as a matter of urgency

From now on, it's single models only, starting with this little drummer boy...

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Santa Claws is Coming to Town

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I hope you've already ordered all your festive GW merch this year. Better hurry if not, they're only reprinting Space Hulk once more every December for the rest of your life.

Monday, 12 December 2016

Christmas Elves

On the twelfth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Twelve Elves Off The Shelves

Fancy, fragile, functionally useless ... Elves, how we've missed you!

Let's get these guys back to Santa!

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Bleed the World

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Ring those clanging chimes of doom, everyone!

Saturday, 10 December 2016

Ten Thunderers Thundering

On the tenth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Ten Gunners Gunning!

Shoot friend, and enter.

The last time we saw these gun-toting dwarves, they were being alternately crushed by squigs, fanatics or chariots. After that, I felt I owed them a new banner and a repaint.

Friday, 9 December 2016

The Thief, the Crook, the Knife and its Lover

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Bonus points if you've made it this far without hearing Fairytale of New York in the shops more than fifty times.

Thursday, 8 December 2016

Eight Expendable Extras

On the eighth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Eight Goblins Knocking!

"Don't worry, they won't get through that unless they have a ... oh, they do."

More ... more... Moria!

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Two Hammers Hamming

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No peeking, now. Wait until after breakfast.

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

I Fyrd The Bells On Christmas Day

On the sixth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Six Anglos Saxoning!

I know 2016 is unlikely to be remembered fondly by history, but it looks like we're going to get through it without a second series of The Last Kingdom, so it could have been far, far worse...

Monday, 5 December 2016

W-assailing the Castle

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Door number five...

Sunday, 4 December 2016

Satan's Little Helpers

On the fourth day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Four Familiar Faces!

And I know Kraken managed to gazump me with my own damn miniatures. Let's brush past this indictment of my painting speed and consider this a Christmas repeat...

Saturday, 3 December 2016

A Familyier Christmas

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Friday, 2 December 2016

Rule 63, By Toutatis!

On the second day of Advent, the WoffBoot brought to me ... Two Gaulish Ladies!

Read on to discover an ingenious method of getting around copyright...

Thursday, 1 December 2016

They're in the AdVents!

Oh yes, we're doing this schtick again!

The rules are simple:

1. One new post each day, preferably featuring freshly painted models
2. Awful awful puns

We did chests last year, so this time it's the more authentically adventical Doors!

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